In Vino Veritas

"[T]here's an inverse snobbery at work in the book world. The more lavish the book launch and delicious the wine, the less literary cachet the book is likely to have."

The launches of Jeffrey Archer's books involve Krug. The Champagne at Lady Annabel Goldsmith's enchanting -- but unlikely to give Ali Smith sleepless nights -- biography of her dog Copper was spectacular.

When Madonna took over the Kensington Roof Gardens to launch her first children's story a few years back, drinks were of such deliciousness that I can't even remember the title of the book.

A slim, tortured literary novel of impeccable pedigree, on the other hand, will invariably be accompanied by tanninous purple Bulgarian Cabernet Sauvignon glugged from those indestructible little round wineglasses you rent from Bottoms Up.

Everyone's teeth go black and guests look like they have clown make-up round their mouths. I shouldn't be at all surprised if at the launch party for Four Quartets, T S Eliot was drinking warm gin out of a tooth mug."

We're confident that we've never served wine quite that bad at our launches, but the hilarious article from which the above is taken is worth a read.